Disbelief and Reluctance

Teaching me religion, you made it your mission
Making me go to church, for a hell of a search
So much to learn now, so I can say my vow
If I don’t prove worthy, would you break up with me?
I put on my forehead his ashes, than sat on these benches
I opened up my eyes and tried to answer these whys
I even went on my own, tried to enter his zone
I just wanted to see, where you find that beauty
Your faith is just so strong, I must have something wrong.
I like the atmosphere, when I leave my chest is clear
But I feel like I’m just pretending, that this is my thing
Am I searching for a family, bigger than my parents, my brothers and me?
Am I trying to find the truth, at the pick of my youth?
But I’m against their teaching, can’t believe in a priest when I’m doubting
Our society has evolved, church made no army dissolved
Instead it created murderers, the one who abort their future daughters
They just call me a sinner, I can’t keep my legs closed until the alter.
I don’t want to be a saint, find it boring I’d rather faint
I wear a cross around my neck, it strangles me what the heck
Am I trying to belong, or am I just headstrong?
I can’t fall asleep next to a rosary, I’m very sorry Mary
I just need to step back, so I don’t completely loose track


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